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Feather & Flame Consulting

Code of Conduct & Incident Report FAQs

Community care, consent, privacy, and accountability for Feather & Flame events and classes.

Our Values Event Rules Incident FAQs File a Report

Our Values

These values guide how we host, teach, respond, and care for the people who enter our space.

  • Consent: consent is everything. Continue reading for more details on our favorite consent models.
  • Education first: we place a high priority on providing knowledge and understanding for safer exploration.
  • Body positivity: all bodies are beautiful, and clothing has no gender. We strive to create an environment free of judgement, ridicule, competition, and shame.
  • Creative expression: we view BDSM as an art form, and strive to create an environment that encourages artistic expression and creativity.
  • Connection and communication: these things are some of the most important pieces of BDSM, from scene negotiation to the play itself and aftercare.
  • Accountability: all participants are held accountable for risk awareness, informed consent, respect, effective communication, and self awareness. We all make mistakes - it’s how we take ownership of them, learn from them, and do better in the future that matters most!
  • Inclusivity: all genders, sexualities, relationship styles, BDSM role, races, shapes, sizes, differently abled, etc. are welcome here.

Event and Space Rules

Attendees are expected to be familiar with these rules and abide by them.

NO Touch

Do not touch another person or their property without explicit consent. Even if the touch is not sexual in your opinion (hugging someone, hand on the shoulder, etc.), never touch someone without explicit consent.

Discretion and Privacy

  1. Please do not give out the address, time or any details about our space or specific events to anyone without getting approval from an organizer.
  2. Do not talk about BDSM in the parking lot, lobby, or the vanilla room. We are in an office building and do not wish to disturb our neighbors, who are likely to misunderstand the nature of our classes and harass us for it.
  3. To respect the privacy of attendees, do not divulge to anyone the legal names of any organizer or attendee, unless previously sanctioned by the individual.

Photography

For the safety and discretion of all attendees, photography requires consent of ALL pictured, regardless of the nature of one’s inclusion in the photo. It is impossible to determine which parts of a person, their clothing, or their manner are distinguishable to others. As such, do not take photos of anyone without their explicit consent. This means that even if it’s “just the back of their head” or “just their shoe in the photo” you still need explicit consent.

They may ask where the photo is going, if their shoe can be removed from the photo using an editor, etc.

Please ask permission from our staff before taking a photo at one of our events.

Smoking

  1. There is no smoking or vaping indoors. Smoking is allowed outside, however please be careful to wear only vanilla attire when outside of our studio space.
  2. Participating in classes and labs while under the influence of cannabis is PERMITTED due to its medical benefits, but if we feel you are so stoned that you present a safety risk to yourself or others, we will ask you to not participate in specific activities which we feel are unsafe.

No Alcohol

  1. Alcohol is not permitted at any of our events.
  2. It may be allowed at privately booked photoshoots if discussed ahead of time and imbibed responsibly, and all IDs checked regardless of your age.

Service Dogs

  1. We are familiar with ADA laws and will not be obstructive. Please inform us if you’re planning to bring a service animal just so we have a heads up! This is especially important if your dog is still in training. MA law gives service dogs in training the same rights as a fully trained service dog. Please do not abuse this or make it a problem.
  2. We might want to inform attendees of the possibility of a dog being present, which is especially important for those with allergies.

Medical Attention

  1. We do not have licensed medical staff. If you have a specific medical need, such as assistance taking specific medication, then you are responsible to bring someone with you to assist.
  2. There is also a ConvenientMD urgent care just a few doors down.

Safe Words

  1. There is no house-specific safeword. All attendees must respect normal English safe / command words during events, such as “No, Down, Untie, Stop, Red.”
  2. At the moment, we do not allow CNC (Consensual Non-Consent) play at our studio.

Suspension

  1. Anyone looking to suspend at a class, etc. must be approved for suspension by one of our staff. Do not suspend without receiving that approval, even if you’ve been doing it for 10 years. Due to our insurance policy and the general safety and well-being of all community members, we need to keep tight records on any high-risk activities. Approval involves a quick interview about your training, education, previous suspensions, and demonstration of safe uplines.
  2. Please arrange this discussion ahead of time, before an event. On your Membership Form, there is an area to check off that you’ll be suspending, so we can discuss it then. If you are already a member, and suspension is a new skill, simply reach out to Info@FeatherAndFlameConsulting.com or text Raven directly at (781) 527-4072.

No Nudity or Sex

We do not allow nudity or sex at our events. Nudity is permitted for privately booked photoshoots between consenting adults, but sex is never allowed at our studio space. We love sex - please do it at home.

Adults Only

  1. All of our events are 18+
  2. We may check your ID to ensure this; please do not be offended. Consensual BDSM is not illegal, but it is highly frowned upon in society, so we must be extremely careful.
  3. Your legal name will never be disclosed outside of our staff who may use that info when verifying your ID at class check-in, etc. All staff members sign NDAs, and the person who processes our Membership Applications lives on the west coast.

Respect the Studio

  1. Please do not cause harm to our lovely, brand new studio.
  2. All water bottles must have spill-proof lids.
  3. If there is a spill, simply inform a staff member.

Incident Report FAQs

Our reporting process is designed to be direct, thoughtful, and as safe as possible for reporters.

How it works

Each organization has its own way of handling incident reports. Here is our system:

  1. Who reviews Incident Reports and passes judgement? Feather and Flame Consulting is owned by a singular person: Raven. This means that there is no team reviewing the report, no bureaucracy, and therefore I can process reports faster.
  2. Will the other person know that I filed the report? I understand that many people feel afraid to submit an incident report due to repercussions. Let’s be real, even if it’s “anonymous,” often the defendant in a report can figure out who submitted the report. My goal is to make it as safe as possible for people to share information without fearing repercussions. There are multiple options when you file your report - such as giving me a heads up vs. requesting a specific type of action. In many cases, I can politely educate someone and steer them in the right direction, and there’s no need to start freaking them out that someone filed a report. In more extreme cases, I am happy to help mediate, or ban someone if necessary.
  3. Mediation / Request to Ban: For more complex matters, I might need to interview both parties. I keep notes on this, but I do not record the interviews. This is a case-by-case basis, and exists to help prevent abuse of Incident Reports (which is rare, but not unheard of.)
  4. I believe you. Even if the person who hurt you is famous or charming - I believe you. Depending on the complexity of the matter, I might need to interview both parties (you will be informed of this ahead of time). Although I have encountered false incident reports with a hidden agenda before...they are extremely rare, and my first response is to believe the reporter.
  5. Banning: When I ban someone, I do not typically send out an email or other notification to them. Often times, these people disappear from the community by themselves, so I simply never need to talk about it with them (unless you would like me to). However, if they buy a ticket / RSVP to an event, then I will need to inform them that they are not welcome here, and I will need to give them some sort of explanation as to why. I’m happy to work with the reporter to try to find wording that feels comfortable to everyone involved, however this is not always possible. Anyone who is banned from my space and asks why deserves to hear which behaviors need changing.
  6. Getting a Ban Lifted: In most cases, the solution is education. I will work with reporters to offer potential solutions - “if this person took one of our classes on consent, I would consider letting them try again. How do you feel about that?” Obviously the opportunity to be allowed back depends heavily on the severity of the initial incident. Certain behaviors simply don’t warrant second chances.
  7. Questions: I really want to create a space where people feel safe to share information. If you have questions or tips for how I can improve on this, please let me know! Text me/Raven directly at 781.527.4072.

What types of things qualify as an incident?

  • Consent violations: when any aspect of an agreed-upon activity is deviated from or when an activity happens without informed, explicit, enthusiastic, and ongoing consent from all participants. Examples may include, but are not limited to:
    • Situations in which a pre-established “no” has been disregarded
    • Sexual or scene-related actions/touch performed without pre-negotiation
  • Code of Conduct Violations: anything that breaks the Code of Conduct
  • Unsafe: anything that indicates someone could be unsafe for our community
  • Offensive statements: someone said something rude, offensive, or uncomfortable to you
  • Witness: if you witnessed an event like this, but were not directly a part of it, then you may also make a report for that. I will gently reach out to check in with the affected party, but I will NEVER force someone to make a report.

What happens after submitting a report?

Reports are handled on a case-by-case basis depending on the severity of the incident, requested outcome from the affected party, and willingness to take responsibility and do better in the future from the defendant.

Outcomes range from taking a note down to keep an eye out for future problems, educating someone so they can do better in the future, temporary bans from specific events, and full bans from the entire Feather and Flame community. Complex reports will feature an investigation process.

Reports are handled on a case-by-case basis by a singular human being, Raven, and I try to handle things that same way I would as if it happened in my own home. No team, no bureaucracy.

File an Incident Report

Link to a secure report is coming soon! Until then, you can contact Raven directly at Info@RavensProductions.com or text her at 781.527.4072.